Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
