I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
As shirtless as possible
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
