We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
