Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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