Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
