sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
