what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
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