well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
