As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
