so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
