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I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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