i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
