i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
