she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
