hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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