I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
