He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
it glows. i had to have it.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
