I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
