Have you finally orgasmed yet?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
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