In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
