god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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