I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
