Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Randomize
