I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
