I wanna passion pit in your ass
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
