So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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