I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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