Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Randomize
