i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
