she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
