Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
