is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
im drinking this country out of the recession.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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