Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Randomize
