I am spending my child support on dildos
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
