Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
