so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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