I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
