we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
