Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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