I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
