put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
