She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
