Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Me. At least after what I've been through.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
