Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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