I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
