put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i need an iv and a liver transplant
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
