They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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