Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I need help removing her.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Randomize
