when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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