I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
