Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
