my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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