I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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