This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
